goodbye another year.

2009 is about to end and I’m still here, the same old rym. The same old me that I hate.

Anyways, I’m here to blog about all the things that had happened to me this 2009.

January – I found out that I’m pregnant. I was studying then, it was actually a mixed emotions for me. I was happy cause, I realized that I’m gonna be a mom anytime soon. I’ve also realized that I’m a REAL GIRL cause i was able to bear a child. sad because i know that once my mom will find out about the pregnancy thing, she will going to stop supporting my studies.

February – I told mom that I’m pregnant and yeah, as what I’ve expected, she told me she was hurt and said that she can’t continue to support and give all my needs in school.

March – August – My life was full of jerky decision and blurred thoughts. it was pretty a mess to sum it all up. I actually didn’t enjoy my whole pregnancy. It was full of tears and chagrin and hurtful words and annoying presence of one another. grrr. twas really a red months for me.

September – My little princess was born, she became the source of my happiness eversince. She was the one who helped me to gain back all the strength that I’ve lost in the past months.

October – December – Same old shit. Nothing’s new. Blunt. Boring.

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So all in all my year was like pretty much a BORING year for me. No happenings. Can’t remember any moment that I had a good laugh, neither a cry. All i can remember is, I was full of pain and anger and distress.

Just hope this year would be different.

I hope to have a job.. More blessings for each and every one of us.. I hope I can learn how to stop yearning for someone or somethings that I know can’t really be a 100% mine. : ) and when that time happens, I’ll be totally free and can start a new life again. *fingers crossed*

and one more thing, one big HIGHWAY SALUTE for all the people who judged me and think that they know me well but the fact is they only perceive what their eyes see. They don’t actually know where all this emotions are coming from. Why I’m like this and why I’ve been doing things like that. I hate you.. that’s it.